Sunday, April 21, 2024
HomeThe FunniesTop 10 Reasons Ranch Trucks Are Never Stolen

Top 10 Reasons Ranch Trucks Are Never Stolen

Don’t let this make you feel bad about your truck!


10. They only have a range of 20 miles before they break down or run out of gas.

9. Only the owner knows how to operate the door.

8. It is difficult to drive fast with all the fence tools, grease rags, ropes, chains, syringes, buckets, boots, hay, and loose papers flying around the cab.

7. It takes too long to start and the smoke coming up through the rusted-out floorboard clouds your vision.

6. The Border Collie on the toolbox looks mean.

5. They’re too easy to spot.  The description given to the sheriff: “The driver’s side door is red, the truck is green.”

4. The large round bale in the back makes it hard to see if you’re being chased.  You could use the mirrors if they weren’t cracked and covered with duct tape.

3. Top speed is only 45 mph.

2. Who wants a truck that needs a year’s worth of maintenance, $3,000 in body work, tail lights and a windshield?

And the No. 1 reason why ranch trucks are never stolen: It is very difficult to commit a crime when everyone is waving at you!

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Kathy Voth
Kathy Voth
I am the founder, editor and publisher of On Pasture, now retired. My career spanned 40 years of finding creative solutions to problems, and sharing ideas with people that encouraged them to work together and try new things. From figuring out how to teach livestock to eat weeds, to teaching range management to high schoolers, outdoor ed graduation camping trips with fifty 6th graders at a time, building firebreaks with a 130-goat herd, developing the signs and interpretation for the Storm King Fourteen Memorial trail, receiving the Conservation Service Award for my work building the 150-mile mountain bike trail from Grand Junction, Colorado to Moab, Utah...well, the list is long so I'll stop with, I've had a great time and I'm very grateful.


  1. Good one! On committing a crime, let’s not forget all the outsiders come to the country for the day blowing horns and shouting mad because the truck is only chugging along. Do not, never ever take one on an interstate. If I get half the work and years out of the post-Carter truck as from the ’55, call it a blessing from God.

  2. Excellent! One could go on and on with this one.

    Mine you would have to air up the tires and did I mention, no brakes.

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