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Top 10 Reasons Ranch Trucks Are Never Stolen

By   /  May 30, 2016  /  2 Comments

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Don’t let this make you feel bad about your truck!


10. They only have a range of 20 miles before they break down or run out of gas.

9. Only the owner knows how to operate the door.

8. It is difficult to drive fast with all the fence tools, grease rags, ropes, chains, syringes, buckets, boots, hay, and loose papers flying around the cab.

7. It takes too long to start and the smoke coming up through the rusted-out floorboard clouds your vision.

6. The Border Collie on the toolbox looks mean.

5. They’re too easy to spot.  The description given to the sheriff: “The driver’s side door is red, the truck is green.”

4. The large round bale in the back makes it hard to see if you’re being chased.  You could use the mirrors if they weren’t cracked and covered with duct tape.

3. Top speed is only 45 mph.

2. Who wants a truck that needs a year’s worth of maintenance, $3,000 in body work, tail lights and a windshield?

And the No. 1 reason why ranch trucks are never stolen: It is very difficult to commit a crime when everyone is waving at you!

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  • Published: 5 years ago on May 30, 2016
  • By:
  • Last Modified: May 24, 2016 @ 9:29 am
  • Filed Under: The Funnies

About the author

Publisher, Editor and Author

Kathy worked with the Bureau of Land Management for 12 years before founding Livestock for Landscapes in 2004. Her twelve years at the agency allowed her to pursue her goal of helping communities find ways to live profitably AND sustainably in their environment. She has been researching and working with livestock as a land management tool for over a decade. When she's not helping farmers, ranchers and land managers on-site, she writes articles, and books, and edits videos to help others turn their livestock into landscape managers.


  1. Martin says:

    Good one! On committing a crime, let’s not forget all the outsiders come to the country for the day blowing horns and shouting mad because the truck is only chugging along. Do not, never ever take one on an interstate. If I get half the work and years out of the post-Carter truck as from the ’55, call it a blessing from God.

  2. Don Keener says:

    Excellent! One could go on and on with this one.

    Mine you would have to air up the tires and did I mention, no brakes.

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